Seventies glam band Wizzard once memorably sang that ‘I wish it could be Christmas Every Day’. That sounds like the 10th and most terrifying circle of hell, as each day would be an ordeal of unwanted socks, Home Alone and Christmas pudding.
So you can imagine our anguished reaction when we heard the news that Selfridge’s on Oxford Street had opened their Christmas shop on 1st August – a full 147 days early.
A spokeswoman said that they had opened due to demand from tourists, who come to London to buy Christmas gifts in their summer holidays, and wanted a seasonal shop to get into the spirit of things. It also helps that Selfridge’s have a tax-free lounge where they can make some big savings. Right now, you can buy London-inspired Christmas decorations and stocking fillers, and from September you can pick up a capsule collection of Christmas food. The spokeswoman also stated that people want to pick up a bauble or two and when they see it on their tree at Christmas time, it will remind them of their trip to London.
We have gotten used to the Christmas retail season starting the day after Halloween, as shops love a good seasonal promotion to make us dip our hands in our pockets, but this has gone a step too far, and we here at VIVAescorts™ simply aren’t going to stand for it. If you want to go shopping for Christmas baubles, then you should head off to Lapland (where it is cold even in August) and get the authentic experience. London has plenty of unique attractions that you should sample while you are here, especially in the summer months.
For example, London is by far and away the greatest city in the world for high-class escorting, and August is the perfect time to sample this excitingly erotic scene. If you are in London on vacation, we urge you to avoid this frankly sacrilegious Christmas shop, and meet with a high-class companion instead.
And where better to find one than from our elite selection? Our escorts have been hand-picked for their beauty, grace and sexy manner. As the name of our agency suggests, VIVAescorts™ are the most vivacious in the capital, and their looks are as varied as our clients’ tastes. From blonde supermodels to deliciously curvy Latinas, you are sure to find something to take your fancy.
So our advice for tourists here on holiday, is to avoid getting roped into a trip to an unseasonal Christmas shopping experience. Make up a likely excuse (perhaps fear of men in red costumes) and give us a call, as we have plenty of sexy and beautiful girls near Oxford Street who will give you the kind of pampering that you don’t get in Santa’s Grotto.
And when you sit back in your chair after your Christmas lunch, you will think of your time with a London escort, and have truly fond memories of that trip to London.